Have you ever noticed,
that we choose our shampoo
according to how much it offends us?
Standing in front of the shelf,
“For dry, brittle, greasy, ugly splitted, gollum hair”
and thinks, “Nice, I’ll take that.”
Man: Do you like long walks on the beach?
Man: Cool! Because I don’t have a car. Now… do you like sleeping under the stars?!!!
What my girlfriend thought on the first 4 dates:
When I see women driving a bus,
I smile and think about how far we,
as a society has come to equality.
And then I wait for the next bus.
The guy who said that is like supporting the equality between men and women but in the end he still afraid of taking a bus that is driven by a woman.
Just a reminder to all married people:
If you have promised your wife or husband that you will love her 24/7,
then, today is 24/7.
The best thing about
being a short woman is
when you hug a guy
and you feel his heartbeat against you
and you know exactly
where to stab him if he hurts you.
Age 7: I want to be a scientist.
Age 11: I want to be an astronaut.
Age 18: I want to be a Software Engineer.
Age 20: Hey Guys! Please LIKE, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE my channel and PRESS the bell.
Person 1: Yo Momma so dumb, she threw a rock on the ground… AND MISSED!!!
Person 2: Yo Momma so stupid, she asked me what’s the number of 911!
Person 1: Yo Momma so fat, I saw her in the newspaper… pages 6, 7, 8 and 9!!!
Person 2: … Why are we doing this? We have the same Mom. -_____-
Ladies, if he calls you crazy,
don’t get upset.
Crazy bitches are better in bed,
so take it as a compliment.
But, stab him just in case.