Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
* Husband is recovering from a head injury now.
A quick grammar lesson!
- Doesn’t = Does Not
- They’re = They Are
- You’re = You Are
- My Fire = The One Desire
- Believe = When I Say
- I want It = That Way
Hear the song here:
After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F.
Dylan: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.
Man: It seems raining for a long time. Take my shirt, I don’t want you get wet.
Woman: But you could get wet.
Man: No, I have umbrella. Don’t worry.
I find it interesting how someone could be in and out of prison their whole life and their families will still say things like, “I know he is a good person.”
Meanwhile, I get a B+ on my test and my family berates me for being a “shame to the family” and how I’m a “failure of a son”.
Have you ever noticed,
that we choose our shampoo
according to how much it offends us?
Standing in front of the shelf,
“For dry, brittle, greasy, ugly splitted, gollum hair”
and thinks, “Nice, I’ll take that.”
Man: Do you like long walks on the beach?
Man: Cool! Because I don’t have a car. Now… do you like sleeping under the stars?!!!
What my girlfriend thought on the first 4 dates:
- Nice shirt.
- Wow! A second nice shirt.
- Okay, the first shirt again.
- He has two shirts.
Just because you’re different,
doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful.
Now go out there and shine,
you magnificent what-the-f*ck.