When I was a kid, Santa gave me a lump of coal. The next year, I poisoned his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad.
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
Note: Some people say this is a quote from Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson.
Find ways to make you smile.
Understand and support you.
Cuddle you and hold your hand.
Kinda really wanna f*ck the shit out of you too.
Stop arguing over the best programming language.
C is LOW LEVEL
C++ is POWERFUL
Python is INTUITIVE
Rust is SAFE
Lua is EASY
C# is LEGIBLE
I hate when I tell someone
I’ll be there in 10 minutes
and they keep calling me every 30 minutes
asking where I’m at.
A husband and wife were grocery shopping. He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies.
“Put them back, we can’t afford them.” demands the wife.
They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a $20 jar of face cream in the basket.
“What are you doing?” asks the husband.
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
He said, “So does 24 cans of beer and it’s half the price.”
That’s him in Aisle 5!
I met a girl crying outside a mall. I asked her what’s wrong. She said she lost $200. So, I gave her $40 from the $200 I picked up at the entrance.
When God blesses you, you must bless others.
When you wonder if she is proud or just about to cry…
Spoke to my ex after 10 years.
“Miss or Mrs?” he asked.
“Dr.,” I said.