Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

ELEMENT Woman
SYMBOL
DISCOVERER Adam
ATOMIC MASS Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
  2. Boils at absolutely nothing – freezes for no apparent reason.
  3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

  1. React well to gold, platinum and all precious stones.
  2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
  3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USE

  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2. Can greatly aid relaxation.
  3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent.

HAZARDS

  1. Turn green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
  2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact.

I Think I’m Pregnant

Girl: Babe… I think I’m pregnant…
Boy: The AT&T Subscriber Yu Are Trying To Reach Is No Longer In Service.
Girl: YOU KNOW YOU SPELLED “You” WRONG!!!
Boy: The AT&T Subscriber You* Are Trying To Reach Is No Longer In Service.

* Conversation via online messenger.