An Indian Tribe Captured Three Men

An Indian tribe captured three men. The tribe told each of them to find 10 fruits of the same kind and if they don’t, they’ll kill them.

The first guy comes back with 10 apples and the tribe members told him to put all of them up to his ass without making a sound or they’ll kill him. After the second apple he screamed and they shot and killed him.

The second guy comes back with 10 grapes. …8 …9, still counting up then the guy laughs and the tribe shoots and kills him.

Up in heaven, the first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, he had almost made it.

The second guy tells him that he saw the third man coming back with fucking pineapples.

The World’s Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “No!”

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and whiskey and had loads of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End.

Donate Clothes

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

* Husband is recovering from a head injury now.