Category: Funny Stories

If you’re worried
you’re not gonna get
a New Year’s Eve kiss,
just remember that
Valentine’s Day is in
45 days and you’re
probably gonna be
alone for that too.

Year 20🇧🇷🇩🇪 Ends

Man: You should drop subtle hints to your crush. If he’s smart he will know.
Woman: Oh! Ok.
Man: You want to know my crush? 😀
Woman: Yeah!
Man: Read the first word again. ❤️
Woman: Wow! You. Is he Chinese?

If you hate yourself,
remember that you are not alone.
A lot of other people hate you too.

If you start to think about 2017
at 11:59:59 PM on new year’s eve,
you will realize how it sucked
at midnight.

If you start fapping at 11: 59:55 PM
on new year’s eve,
you will be finished
at Midnight.

Girl: Come over.
Boy: I can’t, my car only has three wheels.
Girl: Do you have a tricycle?
Boy: You were supposed to say “But my parents aren’t home.”
Girl: I was distracted by your tricycle.
Boy: Ok! Start over.
Girl: Ok.

Girl: Come over!
Boy: I can’t, my car only has three wheels.
Girl: What color is your tricycle?
Boy: F**k you!!!

Son: Dad, what is an alcoholic?
Me: Son, do you see these 4 trees? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: But Dad, there are only 2.

Women love taking showers
in boiling hot water
because it reminds
them of hell,
where they come from.