Author: karyasarma
Quote #69
Just because someone doesn’t complain about his life, doesn’t mean that it’s easier than yours.
Anonymous
Quote #68
You either quit your job for a better one or you remain loyal long enough to see yourself get laid off.
Anonymous
If Yesterday Was Tomorrow
Samuel said, “If yesterday was tomorrow, today would be Friday.”
What day did Samuel say this?
Sunday or Wednesday depends on how you interpret this sentence, “If yesterday was tomorrow.”
Let:
YES = Real Yesterday
YES’ = Imaginary Yesterday
TOD = Real Today
TOD’ = Imaginary Today
TOM = Real Tomorrow
TOM’ = Imaginary Tomorrow
Assumption I:
1. Yesterday in the sentence is the Real Yesterday (YES).
2. Tomorrow in the sentence is the Imaginary Tomorrow (TOM’).
3. Today in the sentence is the Imaginary Today (TOD’).
Thus:
YES = TOM’ (i)
TOD’ = Friday (ii)
TOM’ = TOD’ + 1 (iii)
TOD = YES + 1 (iv)
Using equation (i) and (iii):
YES = TOM’
YES = (TOD’ + 1)
YES = TOD’ + 1 (v)
Using equation (iv) and (v):
TOD = YES + 1
TOD = (TOD’ + 1) + 1
TOD = TOD’ + 2 (vi)
Using equation (ii) and (vi):
TOD = TOD’ + 2
TOD = Friday + 2
TOD = Sunday
Assumption II:
1. Yesterday in the sentence is the Imaginary Yesterday (YES’).
2. Tomorrow in the sentence is the Real Tomorrow (TOM).
3. Today in the sentence is the Imaginary Today (TOD’).
Thus:
YES’ = TOM
TOM = YES’ (i)
TOD’ = Friday (ii)
YES’ = TOD’ – 1 (iii)
TOD = TOM – 1 (iv)
Using equation (i) and (iii):
TOM = YES’
TOM = (TOD’ – 1)
TOM = TOD’ – 1 (v)
Using equation (iv) and (v):
TOD = TOM – 1
TOD = (TOD’ – 1) – 1
TOD = TOD’ – 2 (vi)
Using equation (ii) and (vi):
TOD = TOD’ – 2
TOD = Friday – 2
TOD = Wednesday
Q.E.D.
Our Education System
Quote #67
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Anonymous
Every Morning at 8 Sharp I Poop
Patient: Doc, I’ve got a problem. Every morning at 8 sharp I poop.
Doctor: How is that a problem?
Patient: I wake up at 9.
Is There Any Medicine for Long Life?
Patient: Doctor, is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: Get married!
Patient: Will it help to live a long life?
Doctor: No. But it will avoid such thoughts.
I Have Some Bad News and Very Bad News
Doctor: I have some bad news and very bad news. What you wanna hear first?
Patient: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your lab report came and it said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: What the hell?!!! Nothing could be worse than this news. So what is the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Patient: ?!?!?!
How Long Have I Got?
Doctor: You are in very critical condition. You are dying and you don’t have much time.
Patient: OMG, that’s terrible. How long have I got?
Doctor: 10!
Patient: 10 what? Days, weeks, months or years?
Doctor: 10… 9… 8… 7… 6…
Patient: !!!!!!

