Alan: Hey Jake! I am outside your house.
Alan: I want my jacket back. :-3
Jake: Alan.
Jake: It’s almost 3 o’clock in the morning and I am upstairs in my bed. There is no way on earth that you can make me get up and open the door.
Alan: O.K.
Jake: Alan???
Jake: Dude, don’t!
Jake: Don’t!!!
Jake: Alan, answer your phone!
Jake: STOP BREAKING MY DOOOOOR, ASSHOOOOOLE!!!
* Conversation via online messenger.
To that one soul reading this. I know you are tired, you are fed up, you are so close to breaking; But, there is strength within you even when you feel weak. Keep fighting.
Anonymous
The world is a dangerous place, Elliott, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
Me: I am gonna be a terrorist and kill 1.000 people and a monkey.
Friend: Why do you wanna kill a monkey?
Me: See?! No one cares about the 1.000 people.
If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
This is the most dangerous animal in the world. Responsible for millions of deaths every year. By his side, we can see a white shark (Carcharodon carcharias) swimming peacefully.
Husband: Pack your bags. I’ve won the lottery!
Wife: [Excited] Should I pack for sun or snow?
Husband: I don’t care, as long as you are gone by noon.
I. Like. It. How. When.
You. Read. This. The.
Little. Voice. In. Your.
Head. Takes. Pauses.
