People keep telling me the “right person” will come along. I think mine got hit by a bus or something.
Author: karyasarma
Tomorrow
(noun)
A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Trust Goes Away
It’s funny how all the trust goes away when you’re looking for the remote.
“Are you sitting on the remote?”
“No.”
“Stand up!”
You Can Delete My Number
My ex texted me, “You can delete my number.”
I replied, “Who is this?”
No Need To Rub It In
Caution: This joke is not appropriate for some people.
I hate it when homeless people shake their cups of coins at me. Yes, I know you’ve got more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Take A Pistol
- Take a pistol.
- Point it to your head.
- Press the trigger.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.
I Should Give Her My Seat
Caution: This joke is not appropriate for some people.
Me: I should give her my seat, she’s pregnant.
Other Me: No one told her to f**k the guy with no car.
When Your Ex Texts You
Ex: Do you still hate me?
Me: Yup!
Ex: On a scale of 1-10?
Me: If I had a gun with two bullets and was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and you; I would shoot you twice.
At Age 18
At age 18,
you are an idiot.
At age 28,
you are an experienced idiot.
Origin Story – Port Sherry
[The mother is dying while she speak to his son.]
Mom: Listen, son… There is nothing special about you. You come from a long line of regular people. There was nothing extraordinary about me or your father, or our parents and their parents. There are no prophecies or legends about you coming. You aren’t destined to do great things. I leave you little money and possessions. There are no riches waiting for you. There are no secrets about you. You are you, and nothing more.
[The mother close her eyes.]
Son: Mom?
[The mother wake up and grabs his son’s hand.]
Mom: That means, there is no path set out for you. So anything you accomplish, anything you become… it will be truly your own.
[The mother has die.]
Source: http://portsherry.com