Sometimes I just want
someone to hug me and says,
“I know it’s hard.
You’re going to be okay.
Here is a coffee
and 5 million dollars.”
Category: Funny Stories
Your Teeth Are Like the Stars
Boy: Your teeth are like the stars.
Girl: Awww!!! Thanks. Are they so pretty?
Boy: No, they’re far away from each other.
I Have Decided to Live on My Own
Child: Mom… Dad…!!! I’ve decided to live on my own from now on.
Parents: Okay, cool.
Child: Your luggage is outside.
Project Manager
A person who thinks 9 women can deliver a baby in 1 month.
But in the End
My girlfriend left me because I listen to Linkin Park too much. But in the end it doesn’t even matter.
Who Will It Be
My friend asked me once, “If you could have sex with any fictional character, who will it be?”
Then I told him, “My girlfriend.”
If You Are Drowning
If you’re drowning, pretend you’re dead. The water will think you’re a corpse and you’ll float to the top.
I Like to Sound Carcinogenic
SOMETIMES
I USE WORDS
I DON’T
UNDERSTAND
SO I CAN
SOUND MORE
PHOTOSYNTHESIS
I Have a Good News and a Bad News
John: Dude, I have a good news and a bad news.
Jack: Just tell me the good news.
John: The airbags in your car works perfectly.
You Need a Minimum of 2 Witnesses
You need at least 1 witness to prove a murder and a minimum of 2 witnesses to register a marriage.
It clarifies which one is more dangerous.