Category: Funny Stories

[Gymnast does a triple-double ultra-spin backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands.]

Me: [Mouth full of Pringles] What a loser…

Daughter: Mom, I finally found a boyfriend.
Mother: Who is it, sweetie?
Daughter: George the neighbor.
Mother: But, sweetie… He could be your father.
Daughter: Love knows no age!
Mother: That’s not what I meant…

Lawyers hopes you’re in trouble.
Doctor hopes you’re sick.
Cops hope you’re criminal.
Teacher hopes you’re stupid.

BUT

Only a thief wishes you prosperity in life.

I admire any woman that rejects me
because that means they have
a good taste in men and fully functional
reasoning skills.