Category: Funny Stories

Man 1: Dude! How do you manage to be cool all the time?
Man 2: Because I don’t get into arguments with stupid people, I just cut it short and say, “You are right!”
Man 1: But that’s completely irrational and wrong.
Man 2: You are right!

Warning: NC-17

A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you. I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it, I’ll be done.”

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend then said to her, “Do it! But ask him for $2,000. Pick up the money very fast, he wouldn’t even have enough time to undressed himself.”

So she agrees.

Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend, he asks, “What happened?”

She responds, “The Bastard used coins. I’m still picking and he is still f*cking!”

I HAVE
ENOUGH
MONEY TO
LIVE LIKE
A KING FOR
THE REST OF
MY LIFE

* If I die tomorrow.

(adj.) Running into a wall with a boner, and breaking your nose first.

1. Delete Facebook account.
2. Leave social media.
3. Leave city and live in Himalaya.
4. Pigeon comes with a note. Open note, “Candy Crush Request.”

I remember when my mum was beating me up once, so I pretended I was dead. She started crying. I woke back up and she beat me up again.

My friend thinks he is smart. He said onions are the only food that make you cry.

So I threw a coconut to his face.